My biggest fear

When I was applying to ESC projects, they would ask “What kinda problems are you expecting to face?” or “What will be the biggest challenge for you living abroad?” and to all of that my answer was the same “A catastrophe like a coup or an earthquake happening in Turkiye during my volunteering process.”

It happened.

An earthquake hit 10 cities in my country. Now it is the third day, the death toll is 10.000 people and I feel numb.

The cities affected by the earthquake are colder than the city we are staying in.

Every food I put into my mouth, I think of people who don't have food in earthquake areas.

Everytime I drink water I think of people without water who are under the wreckage that they once called home.

Eveytime Ii pull my blanket over me to stay warm in my bed, Ii think of people who can't even find a blanket during this freezing cold.

I am ashamed that I’m safe, I have access to food and water, I’m warm and I have a place to live.

I am ashamed that I have the bare minimum.